初級寫作修改-023

bet­tyt­sai  

• Spring is here now.The cher­ry blossom.It’s very beautiful.There are a lot of ani­mals awak­ing in spring.For example,snakes,bears,frogs.….. Peo­ple are happy,because spring is comimg here.

這一篇不錯~算通順~真的要挑剔的話…
1. 櫻花開花Cher­ry is bloom­ing 或是 Cher­ry blos­soms. (注意動詞時態)
2. For example,snakes,bears,frogs, ext. (等等)
3. Peo­ple are hap­py because…(because放中間不用逗點)
4. Spring is coming不用再加here
5. 第一句Spring is here(春天到了)和最後一句spring is coming(春天快到了)有矛盾喔!
Spring is here now. Beau­ti­ful cher­ry blos­soms. There are a lot of ani­mals awak­ing in spring, such as snakes, bears, frogs, ext. Peo­ple are hap­py in spring.